I REMEMBER the years that I spent in the minor seminary, particularly those times when I would walk around the grounds of the seminary on a stormy morning, singing psalms of praise and writing poems to God. They were fresh periods of conversion, of feeling God’s personal love. Those days revealed to me a simple but deep, personal and intimate thought: I am God’s child and he loves me unconditionally.
The periods before this “conversion” were tumultuous and were filled with confusion and resentments about my family and personal life. I hated school, I struggled with my studies, and I resented my cold relationship with my father. At some point in my senior year, God revealed himself to me in a powerful way, not through some kind of vision but through an overwhelming feeling of being loved by him. I could not fully describe the experience. All I know was that I was filled with joy and gratitude to God. It was a raw and pure experience of God’s presence in my life.
I remember the book that John Powell, S.J. wrote then, entitled He Touched Me. That’s how I could describe my profound experience of God. He touched my heart and my whole being in ways I could not understand as a young man. With this experience I could give him a genuine response to his call. I wanted to be a priest so that I could reciprocate God’s love to me. As simple as that!
Perhaps, some people had a similar experience in life. It could have been early or later in life. Somehow God has a way of revealing himself to us that would change us completely and would make us become open or generous to his call.
I could say that the period of conversion in my senior year of high school was an awaking moment of revelation of who God was for me. He was the one who could bring complete joy to my life; he was the one to whom I could give my life entirely; he was the one that I needed to serve. And priesthood was the way…
Every now and then in my later years of my ministry as a priest, I would go back to this initial experience of God’s movement in my life. It sustains me in my commitment to keep serving God and his people. It reminds me of my genuine motive of service.
The Scriptures of this Sunday’s Mass speak about revelations of God/Christ. In the Book of Kings, we find Elijah encountering God in the gentle breeze after the storm; while in the Gospel of Matthew, we learn of Peter and the other disciples encountering Jesus in his divinity in the midst of a storm as he walked miraculously on the water. All of them had a deep experience of God in these events, which transformed their lives and allowed them to believe in him and to hear his call.
May you too encounter God deeply not only times of “storms” but also in nature and ordinary events of life! May God transform your lives so that you can trust him, follow him, and realize his unconditional love for you over and over again!
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Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas attended St. Johns Seminary in Camarillo, Calif. and earned his Doctor of Ministry in Preaching from Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, Missouri. For 20 years, he has been in the parish ministry of large multi-cultural communities. From 2002 to 2014, he has been the pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Los Angeles. He will begin teaching at St. John’s Seminary this July. Please email Fr. Rodel at [email protected].