VALENTINE’S Day is traditionally a holiday for couples to celebrate their love. However, when good relationships go bad, Valentine’s Day becomes one abusive nightmare.
Debbie entered the United States as a student where she met a young US citizen in one of her classes. They quickly fell in love and married. Unfortunately, Debbie soon saw a different side of her husband, a side much different than the carefree, funny man she came to love.
It started with losing his temper. He would curse at her and call her names in public and at home. Debbie tried to rationalize that he was just under pressure from school and work. But the verbal abuse just got worse. He refused her access to their bank account, told her to stay in the house and not to go anywhere leaving her without money and transportation. He chose her friends and decided when and where she could go out. He was controlling every facet of her life and if she didn’t like it he would call the Immigration Service and have her deported. Home was a prison.
Debbie was very traditional and wanted to resolve her marital differences. She was hopeful that her husband was still the man she fell in love with and married. On Valentine’s Day, Debbie prepared a romantic meal to rekindle her relationship with her husband. When her husband returned from work, he ignored Debbie and started drinking. Debbie pleaded for him to join her for dinner, but he objected. Upon a second request, he lost his temper and slapped Debbie in the face. Debbie was left in despair.
Spousal abuse is common and immigrants have not been spared this national tragedy. In the traditional family-based petition process, immigrants must rely on their US citizen or lawful permanent resident spouse to file applications, putting them in a particularly vulnerable position. The abused spouse may stay with their abuser simply because they fear deportation. They stay not realizing that they may be entitled to residency on their own, without having to rely upon their abuser spouse.
Congress passed Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) creating a self-petitioning process allowing the abused spouse or child of a lawful permanent resident or a U.S citizen, or the parent of an abused child, to file a family preference visa petition on his or her own behalf without the involvement of the abusive spouse or parent.
Under VAWA a self-petitioner has to show that she or he has good moral character, entered into a marriage with a US citizen or lawful permanent resident in good faith, and was the victim of abuse or the parent of a victim of abuse.
At Wilner & O’Reilly, we have helped many domestic violence victims like Debbie obtain their legal permanent residencies without relying on their abusive spouse. These victims go on to lead productive fulfilling lives in the United States. Don’t let your abusive marriage dictate your life in the United States.
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Kelly O’Reilly is a nationally known immigration expert and former immigration officer. He is a highly sought after speaker on immigration and employment compliance issues. Mr. O’Reilly serves as the current chair of the Riverside County Bar Association Immigration section and is a partner in the full-service immigration firm of Wilner & O’Reilly where he provides free consultations. Mr. O’Reilly can be contacted at (562)207-6789 or he welcomes email inquiries at [email protected].