Murphy’s Global Law: A brighter side of life

LET’S enjoy some of Murphy’s Laws as we recover from tax season stress.

Law of the alibi

If you tell the boss you were late for work because of a flat tire, you will have a flat tire the very next morning.

Law of the bath

The probability of your telephone ringing is directly proportional to how deep your body is immersed in your bath tub.

Law of biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your reach.

Law of cafe

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot tea, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the tea is cold.

Law of close encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of commercial marketing

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they stop making it.

Law of doctor appointments

If you don’t feel well and make an appointment to go to the doctor, you’ll feel better by the time you get there. Don’t make an appointment and you stay sick.

Law of gravity

Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of lockers

If there are only two people in a changing room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of logical argument

Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Law of mechanical repair

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.  And yes, you also have to pee.

Law of physical appearance

If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

Law of physical surfaces

The chance of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering is directly correlated to the newness of your carpet.

Law of probability

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of random numbers

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of result

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of theater

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

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Victor Santos Sy, CPA, MBA, provides professional services in accounting and tax controversy including IRS audit defense and offers in compromise. He also advises clients on choices of entity including corporations for small businesses and LLCs for rentals.  Vic worked with SyCip, Gorres, Velayo (SGV – Andersen Consulting) and Ernst & Young before establishing Sy Accountancy Corporation at 704 Mira Monte Place, Pasadena, CA 91101. The firm celebrates its 35th anniversary this year. You may email tax questions to Vic at [email protected]. You are welcome to visit our website for more than 300 tax tips at www.victorsycpa.com.

Victor Sy, CPA, MBA (retired)

Victor Santos Sy, MBA. CPA (Retired) Victor Santos Sy graduated Cum Laude from UE with a BBA and from Indiana State University with an MBA. Vic worked with SyCip, Gorres, Velayo (SGV – Andersen Consulting) and Ernst & Young before establishing Sy Accountancy Corporation. * * * He retired after 50 years of defending taxpayers audited by the IRS, EDD, BOE and other governmental agencies. He published a book on “How to Avoid or Survive IRS Audits” that’s available at Amazon. Readers may email tax questions to [email protected].

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