ONE day I asked a friend, “Can you live an anonymous life?” He said, “Yes, I can.” A part of me did not believe him because I know that everyone is tainted with pride and self-glory. Most people want to be on the top, to be popular, and to be recognized.
We live in a society that breeds this attitude of being self-absorbed. In high school, for example, girls and boys already feel the pressure of success, popularity, and being part of the in-group of academics, sports, and other extra-curricular activities.
Television and social media are filled with pages of important and popular people. That’s why we take pictures with them to post them on Facebook or watch them on YouTube to see the latest happenings in their lives. Without knowing it, many folks’ appetite for looking at the lives of people (like the Kardashians) feeds these fellow human beings with egos and make them millionaires.
Even the Church at times is guilty of promoting this milieu in the way that it gives title to priests and lay people. Ask priests what’s the usual topic of conversation among them and they will tell you that it’s who was made a bishop, a cardinal, a monsignor or who is being promoted to a certain office. Of course, having a title is being perceived as a servant-leader, but many times positions in the church cause competition, envy and disappointment.
Clamoring for position or being self-absorbed is an age-old problem even during the time of Jesus. One of the famous passages regarding this matter is this Sunday’s Gospel when James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus and said, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you. To this Jesus replied, “What do you wish me to do for you?” They answered, “Grant that in your glory we may sit one at your right and the other at your left.” Then the other ten disciples became indignant at James and John on hearing their want.
So what’s wrong with this attitude? For one thing, it brings restlessness in people to feed one’s ego or to feel important. And if they don’t get this affirmation or recognition they become depressed. Moreover, in the Christian sense, their attitude is “all about me” and not “all about God and other people”.
In the Gospel, Jesus corrected this attitude of self-absorption when he said, “Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all. For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Thank God that there are people like The New York Times’ Op-Ed Columnist, David Brooks who are also correcting this egotisical attitude that can be deadly to the soul and the human spirit. In his book, “The Road to Character”, Brooks distinguishes two types of people, which he calls Adam I and Adam II. He says, “The hard part of this confrontation, I’d add, is that Adam I and II live by different logics. Adam I—the creating, building, and discovering Adam—lives by a straightforward utilitarian logic. It’s the logic of economics. Input leads to output. Efforts lead to reward. Practice makes perfect. Pursue-self interest. Maximize your utility. Impress the world. Adam II lives by an inverse logic. It’s a moral logic, not an economic one. You have to give to receive. You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself. You have to conquer your desire to get what you crave. Success leads to the greatest failure, which is pride. Failure leads to the greatest success, which is humility and learning. In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself. In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.”
May we never fall into the dangerous pit of self-absorption! Rather, may we do everything for the glory of God and the well being of other people!
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From a Filipino immigrant family, Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas was ordained to the priesthood from St. John’s Seminary in 1991. He served as Associate Pastor at St. Augustine, Culver City (1991-1993); St. Martha, Valinda (1993-1999); and St. Joseph the Worker, Canoga Park (1999-2001). In 2001, he served as Administrator Pro Tem of St. John Neumann in Santa Maria, CA, until his appointment as pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary, Los Angeles, in 2002, which lasted 12 years. His term as Associate Director of Pastoral Field Education at St. John’s Seminary began in July 2014.