CAN real love exist in a community where people are related not by blood but by common faith and beliefs? Can neighbors genuinely care for one another without sacrificing privacy? Can strangers become instant friends? Can a friendship of two persons endure despite a long absence from each other? To all these questions, I say “yes”!
True love can exist not only in spousal and fraternal relationships but also in an agapeic relationship such as that of a community of faith or a civic organization. And although we often say that “blood is thicker than water”, some relationships in communities are even deeper than the ones in families. Just recently a priest-friend shared this sentiment with me. He expressed that he had developed stronger relationships with friends in church than with his siblings.
A genuine care among neighbors in society where privacy and individualism are valued can occur. I didn’t expect this to happen among the neighbors of my family’s home. On the day that my father died, two Hispanic families in our cul-de-sac neighborhood immediately came to console us. One of them, an eighty-year-old man has even become a second father to my brother and me. He would visit us, bring us food, take out our trash and look after our house when no one is there.
When we become accustomed to anonymous living in this country, experiences of genuine care among neighbors such as that of my family bring joy and hope in us that even in big cities, a village of authentic love and mutual respect can grow.
Before Holy Week this year, I received an unexpected telephone call from a woman named Jackie whom I met two years ago during a house blessing in Studio City. She said that she could not forget her encounter with a priest like me who is down-to-earth, friendly, and transparent. Her motive for calling me was to invite me as a guest in her radio talk show to speak about Lent and the election of the new pope. That invitation has led to a genuine friendship of two complete strangers. In fact, last week, it was my turn to invite Jackie, not to a radio talk show but to my lecture in the seminary.
Last night, I had a lovely and heartwarming dinner with Angelique and her fiancée. I haven’t seen Angelique since 1999 when I left St. Martha Church after serving there for six years as associate pastor. Being one of my youth leaders in Life Teen Program then, Angelique would come to me for counseling and prayer. Now, after thirteen years, she is asking me to officiate her wedding. Our long physical absence from each other did not stop our friendship and our longing to be present during the key moments of each other’s life.
The Gospel this Sunday reminds us to love one another as Jesus has loved us. Indeed, we can manifest God’s love in varied ways and levels of relationship. Perhaps, when we begin to doubt the present of goodness in the world, we can think of our personal experiences of how love happens in surprising and “unfamiliar” ways!
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Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas attended St. John Seminary in Camarillo, California and earned his Doctor of Ministry in Preaching from Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, Missouri. For twenty years, he has been in the parish ministry of large multi-cultural communities. Since 2002, he has been the pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Los Angeles. Please email Fr. Rodel at [email protected].
