Gorgeous, big-hearted, pious, amiable, strong-willed single mom, civic-oriented community leader, and passionately fashionable…these and much more best describe the socially indefatigable community figure Marieta Esquillo Lamar from Majayjay, Laguna and currently a prominent resident of 42 years of Staten Island, New York.
A quintessential Saggitarian, born on December 19 to Gregorio Lamar and the former Maria Esquillo, Marieta is the youngest in a brood of three girls and a boy.
Marieta possesses a sterling personality equipped with the capability to struggle for success. Although not particularly goal-conscious but she’s instinctively endowed with the paramount objective to touch people’s lives and effect change when given the opportunity.
Innately hardworking and perseveringly industrious, Marieta learned the ropes of self-support and the value of money at the tender age of 16 as a cashier of the old Bayview House (now Bayview Hotel) and as Food & Beverage Supervisor for three and a half years at the Manila Hilton while still a student at the Manuel L. Quezon University where she finished BS Math with Physical Education minor.
Marriage came early to Marieta by way of a parental arrangement. Being young and submissive, it was uncomplicated for her to realize the very nature of the new status she was into when she affixed her signature on the marriage license dated December 26, 1971. All she knew was she did her parents a favor by merely heeding their decision for her good future. An unforeseen married life gave her a lot of adjustments but complaining was never her option.
On April 15, 1972, barely four months later, another life-changing chapter altered her life when she migrated to the US and left behind fresh memories of the not-so-distant past. She worked as a front desk officer at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel courtesy of a recommendation from her manager at the Manila Hilton.
Her husband followed close when her almost budding career took a setback when she gave birth to her first born that pinned her as a stay-home mom. Ever on-the-go and raring to go back to work, Marieta thought of landing a double employment to augment the financial needs of her growing family.
To fit into the demands for a better-paying job, she took some courses in Nursing at Wagner College of Staten Island and since, she has been the Care Management Coordinator for Staten Island Physicians Practice for four decades, a near life-long dedicated career— a feat hard to duplicate.
Her marriage was blessed with two children: Carol, a graduate of BS in Arts and Speech from Hunter College and currently a resident make-up artist at Bloomingdales SoHo, and Robert (Bobby), a BS in Finance graduate from Baruch College, married to Priscilla, and now an NYPD officer assigned in Staten Island from whom Marieta has a granddaughter, Charlotte Isadora.
Obviously fashionable with a keen sense of style and chic, Marieta, aside from owning a voluminous collection of designer wardrobe and accessories, could also pride herself of having worn and modeled exclusive creations by famous Filipino designers who had their designs shown in the tri-state area like Leonard Co, Richard Papa, Edgar San Diego, Tony Cajucom, and Marden Iglesias.
Being fashionably trendy was her way of creating a façade to cover-up the ferocious reality of life. “I couldn’t merely dwell in misery…that would harshly affect my career and kids. Getting into the core of action offered me a perfect escape and pleasure,” she said blatantly.
Their marital union turned shaky and on-the-rocks due to connubial conflicts and personal indifferences that later made them realize they’d be better off as confiding friends than feuding bedmates. And before too long after 32 years of topsy-turvy relationship the couple legally parted ways by virtue of a divorce. It was rather agonizing for both but Marieta found some kind of liberation and freedom from bondage that tied her down for years.
The unforeseen separation and having to raise her two children single-handedly made her like a guinea pig in a scientific experiment to show that sleep and respite are not essential for a productive existence, Marieta never considered weekends to be something to look forward to for that much needed break…although extremely feeling the guilt of not having stayed home longer with her kids due to the inevitable demands of her job that kept the hard-working mom unswervingly attached to her main source of livelihood.
“I was thrown into such abysmal depth where the situation seemed to be consistently pulling me down deeper with no means of support to lift me up from that seemingly ignominious struggle,” Marieta recalled with deep remorse. “I was born punctilious about survival… about working hard and being independent… but never toiled as tough as what I did when raising my children all by myself.”
There were nights when sleep was elusive. She’d throw her exhausted body to bed but couldn’t snatch even the shallowest slumber, instead the long night just kept her in deep meditation in search for her own blend of spirituality and strength. Prayers were her only redeeming source for resiliency to keep her sanity intact and her vision strappingly focused.
It was a personal sacrifice, no doubt, for Marieta never entertained the idea of squeezing into her already loaded timetable a moment of romantic escapade with a new man. She’d rather bury herself working hard to provide food on the table for her kids than get another rock to hit her head.
“After a failed marriage, I never considered plunging into another menace. I could always be affable with every man but never to be romantically linked or be quixotically involved with anybody. I still consider my ex-husband my best friend after all he’s still the father of my children,” the strong-willed divorcee assayed with finality.
“Alienating my children from their father was the farthest from my mind. They deserve to grow up with a father figure to run to when situation calls for such. I wanted them to grow up normally despite the difference of a parental set-up…and look at the result! There’s no bitterness among us and now that my children are grown up with a family of their own, they realized the efficacy of their parent’s conjugal separation…and they didn’t even feel the divergence of the situation,” she braggingly emphasized..
Psychologists agree that children raised by single mothers are more likely to grow up more independent, have better focus in life, and possess a much stronger personality…that is, when properly guided during their formative years.
After having had served the company for four decades Marieta decided to retire and fully enjoy the remaining years of her late prime. After all the painstaking and persevering years of sacrifice to save for the rainy days she has to bid her desk adieu and take a much deserved final leave.
And in what other way would she plan to enjoy her retirement day after conscientiously working than sharing it with people who have directly or indirectly been associated with her during her tumultuous journey?
A pompously celebrated retirement party in her honor was thrown by her children, Carol and Bobby, last Sunday, November 16, 2014 at the Ramada Plaza Hotel where family and friends gathered in trendy fashion amid a grandiose ambience. To highlight the unforgettable event and showcase Marieta’s innately trendy nature, a mini fashion show added extra glitter to the already glittery afternoon where the honoree’s equally fashionable colleagues glamorously sashayed and treaded the ramp in their exquisitely designed ternos and elaborately constructed Barong Tagalog. And to make it truly Marieta Lamar’s trademark, some of her most prized personal collection were “unearthed” and exposed.
“It was one of the most heartwarming episodes in my life. I had already planned for it years earlier but still I failed to anticipate the overwhelming excitement there was that left me teary-eyed…especially when my children delivered their personal messages. I knew they meant every word they said and that touched and moved me endlessly,” Marieta uttered in a brittle voice still occasionally laced with that sentimental afterthought.
What’s up next for the freshly retired working mom?
“Well, I have to collect every bit and piece of my stuff, make sure that all things fall into place, and from there I’ll start to savor the fruits of what I’ve toiled for. Forty years are easy to count but knowing the many ups and downs that went with each every passing year…makes one realized how lucky I was to have endured the harrowing ordeal. But, such is to live life with a purpose and now I just have to enjoy the rewards that await me,” Marieta graciously verbalized.
“Now that I have all the time for myself I will also have more time to play with my two-year-old granddaughter, Charlotte Isadora,” she added with an air of anticipated thrill. “Oh, she’s so adorable! At her age she’s starting to communicate and does all funny antics that bring joy to the once quiet home. She’s a great stress-reliever!”
“But I already set my retirement priorities. I want to get involved in more volunteer works and give back to the community in my own humble way…then, travel. I just love to tour and join cruises…go to places I’ve been dreaming of that was thwarted by my mounting commitments. “
Incidentally, Marieta isn’t just the common fashionably sociable figure. Aside from being a devoted parishioner of St, Charles Catholic Church and St. Joseph Church, she’s consistently active in a number of socio-civic community projects, she’s a well-deserving recipient of various awards and distinctly cited for her valuable accomplishments and participation in worthy fundraising projects aside from being a dynamic affiliate of some of the prestigious Filipino-American organizations around: as 1st Vice-Pres. of PACEC, Board Member of the Pan American Concerned Citizens Action League, Inc. (PACCAL), member of Friends Indeed USA, Inc., Treasurer of the Charismatic Prayer Group Service Team, and Core Officer & Treasurer of Lord’s Flock Charismatic Group of Staten Island.
Would you say you’re already financially equipped thru the sunset years of your life? I stimulatingly queried.
“Not too brag, I guess I’m financially stable. I’ve been a hard worker and a wise spender. I always considered the future and scared of growing old with nothing. I cannot see myself relying on somebody’s merc,” the newly retired grandma candidly disclosed.
In closing, Marieta has this to say: “Living is learning…and I’ve discovered that life isn’t all about where one starts…but where life’s journey will take you!”
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