Remembering my late dad and the bayanihan that saved my family

ALL Saints’ and All Souls’ Days give us Christians the time to pause for a while, to be silent, and remember the people we love who have gone before us. This year included my beloved Daddy, who went back home to our Creator last July 27, 2014.
In remembering my father’s life and legacy, I have been overwhelmed with such profound awe and gratefulness,  because I now know how the turn of events could have been worse if God chose to call Daddy back to heaven in 1971 — when Daddy dove into a pool, bumped his head, and became paralyzed as a result.
Right there and then, he could have died or drowned or became comatose and a vegetable all his life. But no, he did not. He was given a new lease in life. We were given a bonus by the Lord to still have a father for 43 more years.
But beyond the grief and pain of losing my father, I now wonder how Daddy and Mommy were still able to muster so much faith and  strength to carry on the heavy load of raising five small children.
During Daddy’s wake last July, I finally got to synthesize the things I knew about what happened to Daddy when I was just nine years old,  and how our family was able to survive this test of faith. I also got to know who my Daddy was — as an employee and as an employer, through testimonies, eulogies and articles written about my father.
The official publication of the United Bayanihan Foundation “Silver Threads” (3rd Quarter 2010) shared a very touching narrative of what happened on that fateful day of August 28, 1971, based on their interviews with Dad and those who knew him:
“For Jose Ma. “Joe” Santos, the speed mail from heaven arrived one summer weekend in 1971. Joe has brought his [three] kids [including me, the eldest] for a swim at the newly-inaugurated Unilab gym pool facility. The kids gleefully went into the water and in no time were cavorting and splashing about. Joe stripped down to his trunks, eager to join the kids.” [Mom had to stay home to take care of baby brother David, and  because of morning sickness as she was then also pregnant with my baby sister Bernadette.] “He paused at the edge of the pool and dove in. Joe was aware that that portion of the pool was not too deep and he planned to make a shallow dive, which would prevent him from touching bottom. But in that short arc to the water, Joe knew that something was awfully wrong: he was going in too sharp an angle.
The gym, then as now, drew its own crowd of users. This probably saved Joe’s life. Amidst the screams of his children and of other swimmers in the pool — Joe, barely  conscious, bluish and totally immobilized, was plucked out of the water by many helping hands and rushed to the nearby ABM Sison Hospital [Medical City now]. Among those who rescued him were Joe Manalac of PR and Danny Tan of Purchasing, in whose car Joe was brought to the hospital.”
From that day on, Daddy was never able to walk again. He could barely use his arms and hands and could not even walk alone using crutches. He stayed in the hospital for a total of five months.
For many years while he was recovering, Daddy was not able to practice his profession. As the Silver Threads article  recounted: “At a time when it would have been entirely expected for someone in a similar situation to give up, Joe’s true strength and courage shone through. Undaunted, Joe made a decision to face life squarely and get on with the business of living.
He and his wife Angelita set up a garments store and fruit stand in Guadalupe in Makati. That done [in 1978], Joe opened a Notary public office in his residence in Pasig [he could still sign his name despite the paralysis], eventually relocating to East Avenue, Quezon City. [This was through the kind offer of Atty. Crisanto Asedillo, the father of his UP Law School classmate Atty. Ruben Asedillo. Our family has been based in the Pinyahan/V. Luna area since 1978.] This was how Daddy continued to be the Padre de Familia, the strong rock of the family, the responsible provider. Despite his disability, he was able to give us a good, decent, comfortable life because he never gave up.
Daddy never gave up not only because of his faith in God and his love for his family. He pulled himself up relentlessly because there were men and women who had always been there for him every step of the way since the freak pool accident. These were his colleagues and comrades from United Laboratories.
I found out that Unilab and his co-employees did everything they could to help Daddy by way of financial and moral support. After only six years  of working for the company as a lawyer, Daddy had to retire because of his condition, but Unilab gave him full benefits due to permanent disability.
As Dad told Caloy Adrosa and Long Perez (author of the Silver Threads article “Life on Wheels”): “Of all his previous employers, he [considered] Unilab the best, the only place where he experience the close-knit relationship of a family. Through he only had a brief  personal encounter with Mr. JY Campos [the founder and big boss of the company], he [looked] up to him as a father whose concern for his employees was — is — legend.
The Unilab culture of bayanihan never left him, and whenever the opportunity arises, he spreads it around. Any United Bayanihan Foundation (UBF)-sponsored gatherings [found] Joe cheerfully wheeling in, acknowledging the greetings of old friends.”
I found out that Daddy did his share to give back to these kind hearted men and women when he resumed his legal profession again in 1978. He offered his Notary Public and legal consultancy services “pro bono” to any member of UBF. He even offered to regularly go to the Foundation’s  office so could be more accessible to the members who need legal consultation.
During Daddy’s wake, UBF sponsored a necrological mass for Daddy. Many of his co-employees were there and spoke about their memories of Daddy. I even met the man, Mr. Benny Barsabal who helped bring him to the hospital, and assisted me in making a call to my Mom to tell her about what happened to Daddy. They all helped me get to know my Daddy even more through their eulogies.
When Daddy died, his comrades from UBF continued to help us. They gave Mommy a generous contribution to help pay for Daddy’s hospital bills, and shouldered a big part ofDaddy’s burial expenses. Mommy was in tears as she received these gifts of love.
As a young girl in our almost weekly trips to Unilab to have fun in the pool and play in the gym when Daddy was still working there, I remember being fascinated by the gigantic mural in the gym’s multi-purpose room. It was a painting of “Bayanihan”  — depicted by men and women carrying a nipa hut, all  walking toward one direction.
Now I know what this mural means, and how United Laboratories and my Daddy’s comrades from the United Bayanihan Foundation have been living up to that bayanihan message. This was not lip service nor a PR campaign. This was their spirit and way of life. Without these kind hearted people, I do not know how my family would have been able to start life again after what happened to Daddy in 1971.
I thank God for you all. Maraming salamat po.

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Gel Santos Relos is the anchor of TFC’s “Balitang America.” Views and opinions expressed by the author in this column are are solely those of the author and not of Asian Journal and ABS-CBN-TFC. For comments, go to www.TheFil-AmPerspective.com, https://www.facebook.com/Gel.Santos.Relos

Gel Santos Relos

Gel Santos Relos is the anchor of TFC’s “Balitang America.” Views and opinions expressed by the author in this column are solely those of the author and not of Asian Journal and ABS-CBN-TFC. For comments, go to www.TheFil-AmPerspective.com and www.facebook.com/Gel.Santos.Relos

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