Sitting in the chair of privilege

“Life is a battle – you must enter into it fully, and do what needs to be done. You cannot shrink from your duty. Life presents difficult, sometimes horrendous situations, unwelcome tasks, and obstacles of every sort. Despite this harsh reality, you must resolutely go forward.”  - Pierro Ferrucci

I have wrongly believed life for years that life is a battle, in which I have to face all the challenges every day by myself. It was much later in life that I realized that my Universal Partner is always with me and that I have the capacity to create my own life of privilege.

I have often wondered what it is like to sit in “The Chair of Privilege,” wherein one’s checkbook is freely accessible towards a donation to a church project or a non-profit cause. Or perhaps where one’s circle already includes the ‘sifted and the centrifuged’ crème de la crème of society. They can be folks who have endured their own life’s challenges, embraced them, and now are at a point of coming to their privileged time, harvesting the fruits of their labor.

Or simply folks who are children of elites, who have no financial barriers yet still, have interior challenges of living a life of purpose, fulfilling their own goals using motivation and determination that we all must have to reach ours.

When I was going to the University of the Philippines’ College of Home Economics to pursue a science degree in food technology, I was part of a different universe. Some of my classmates were children of elites, chauffeured by their own drivers, to the university campus. At the end of the day, the drivers were prompt in picking them up.

Unlike them, I was trained by my working parents and my elder sister to take the bus and to ride the “ikot jeepney” to reach one end of the campus, and back to the dorm. It was a sheltered life: go to classes, go to mass, go to the cafeteria, do laboratory experiments and sleep in the dorm. Our weekends were spent at Ma Mon Luk for siopao and mami and the movies. Anything more than that is not within our allowances, unless I prevail on my mother to give me extra to get an ice cream sundae at Magnolia.

Though I lived a sheltered campus life, I felt discontented. I kept comparing myself to the children of elites, as if I had much less. My mindset was quite wrong. Somehow, I expected a rich person to reorient my life to work for me. I did not educate myself to look at my parents as my role models. Not having that secure belief in my family and myself hindered me.

Was it my Christian education in the early sixties, wherein the nuns emphasized a life centered on academics and prayers, but not quite service to the country and its poor? Now they do emphasize service to the poor.

Was it my university education which emphasized having the skills to work abroad, but not quite the skills and mindset to improve the industries in the Philippines? Though my core college education gave me skills, I did not have the inner fortitude of staying put in my country and not aspiring to go abroad. Then, the industries to apply one’s degree in science and food technology were limited.

It was not until I got to the United States, away from my birth country, that I came to realize how much my father, Eleazar, sacrificed to get his higher education in law. He was an orphan, and without financial means of support from his parents, he befriended hunger. It was his daily companion.  He walked barefoot several miles to go to school. He had water but no food. He believed that his higher education was his ticket out of poverty. And it was by divine providence that he got to eat.

His active imagination helped him visualize a better life for himself. He then met my mother, Asuncion, who herself was determined to have a better life. She burned the midnight oil to get her master’s degree in science, while teaching full-time and raising us, all five girls.  She showed me by example how to work hard to reach our goals. When the youngest girl was five, my mother’s adventurous spirit served her well and she went abroad to give us a much better future.

While both those parental examples were rich ones to learn from, I took them for granted. I incorrectly viewed myself as poor, yet I was richly endowed with their examples of patience, perseverance, true grit and imagination.

Because of what they showed me, I instinctively knew I should and I can pursue higher education. Because of how my dad and my mom sacrificed, I knew I can achieve, with sacrifice and hard work.

Life of gratitude with God’s grace showering

My life turned around when I became grateful for what God gave me: my own skills, talents and knowledge. It even became a life of meaning, of purpose when I served others, mentoring them to reach their own life’s goals. I continue to do that to today, four decades later.

I realized that my own poverty of imagination and good spirits stopped me from having a life of privilege: one that is connected to the Higher Source of imagination and creativity.

I also stopped desiring what others have. I started cultivating my own gifts of imagination and creativity, and have been writing a column for ten years now.

So here goes now, my life begins with an ambitious climb of 282 steps. This overlook trail was created by the collective foresight of the community and the state government’s good governance principles of land conservation and benefitting the public good.

It took over a decade for the community to gain this public victory. How? The Baldwin Hills’ African American community persisted, and sustained their community efforts not to fall apart to division. They solidified their ranks, through social ties, and with their own creative skills of coming together through coffee klatches, movie nights and dinner potlucks. With their solidified ranks, they succeeded in stopping the development of 241 homes over 50 acres of private land.

It was not till the land was bought, and state rangers became part of this park and nurtured its development, did the community finally recognize they preserved 50 acres of land for public good, through their organizing efforts.

Today, this overlook scenic trail is enjoyed by folks of diverse ethnicities, of different ages, of families persisting to have their own lives rich in imagination, rich in creativity, but mostly, rich in connections with their Universal Partner.

Here is where I found a 78-year-old poet, running up the stairs and working through her own issues of poverty, unbeknownst to her, utilizing her own writing skills, as she is presently stumped by her own grief, and expecting folks to like her. I was glad to have struck a conversation with her and even if for a moment, lightened the load in her heart.

Here is where I also found a couple, almost a century old, yes, almost a hundred, with their walking canes, holding hands and whose formula for life is not about viewing challenges, but to take a step at a time, by loving one another for 64 years and smiling while they walk together. They appear to have of privileges, connected to their Universal Partner, the source of all Goodness.

This Christmas Season, I have a lot to be grateful for, starting with my precious almost four-year-old granddaughter. The other day, she corrected me, “Grandma, I am not a baby,” she said, as I mistakenly referred to her as my grandbaby and then, with a smile, she acknowledged it when I called her my granddaughter.

Then, her questions – “Grandma, did my mommy come from your tummy? What about my Uncle Carlo – did he come from your tummy too? Grandma, what about me – did I come from your tummy?”

I said, “yes, your mama and your uncle came from my tummy but you my precious granddaughter came from your mom’s tummy.” She smiled and then she said, “You are my family, Grandma!” That made my day and I felt like I hit the jackpot, in my own virtual chair of privilege!

Merry Christmas to all of you! As every Christmas for 11 years now, I hit the jackpot when I finish all nine novena masses at Immaculate Heart of Mary Church, at 5 a.m. By the morning of Dec. 24th, I feel like I hit the lotto, with a heart so open to accept the divinity of Jesus!

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Prosy Abarquez-Delacruz, J.D. writes a weekly column for Asian Journal, called “Rhizomes.” She has been writing for AJ Press for 10 years. She also contributes to Balikbayan Magazine. Her training and experiences are in science, food technology, law and community volunteerism for 4 decades. She holds a B.S. degree from the University of the Philippines, a law degree from Whittier College School of Law in California and a certificate on 21st Century Leadership from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government. She has been a participant in NVM Writing Workshops taught by Prof. Peter Bacho for 4 years and Prof. Russell Leong. She has travelled to France, Holland, Belgium, Japan, Costa Rica, Mexico and over 22 national parks in the US, in her pursuit of love for nature and the arts.

Prosy Abarquez Dela Cruz, J.D.

Prosy Abarquez-Delacruz, J.D. writes a weekly column for Asian Journal, called “Rhizomes.” She has been writing for AJ Press for 13 years. She also contributes to Balikbayan Magazine. Her training and experiences are in science, food technology, law and community volunteerism for 4 decades. She holds a B.S. degree from the University of the Philippines, a law degree from Whittier College School of Law in California and a certificate on 21st Century Leadership from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government. She has been a participant in NVM Writing Workshops taught by Prof. Peter Bacho for 4 years and Prof. Russell Leong. She has travelled to France, Holland, Belgium, Japan, Costa Rica, Mexico and over 22 national parks in the US, in her pursuit of love for nature and the arts.