THE cool and refreshing wind of Naga caresses my face and reminds me of my youthful days in the minor seminary. I remember those days vividly, particularly those times when I would walk around the grounds of the seminary on a stormy morning, singing psalms of praise and writing poems to God. They were fresh periods of conversion, of feeling God’s personal love. Those days revealed to me a simple but deep, personal and intimate thought: I am God’s child and he loves me unconditionally.
The period before this “conversion” were tumultuous and filled with confusion and resentments about my family and personal life. I hated school, I struggled with my studies, and I resented my cold relationship with my father. At some point in my senior year, God revealed himself to me in a powerful way, not through some kind of vision but through an overwhelming feeling of being loved by Him. I could not fully describe the experience. All I know was that I was filled with joy and gratitude to God. It was a raw and pure experience of God’s presence in my life.
I remember a book that John Powell, S.J. wrote then, entitled He Touched Me. That’s how I could better describe my profound experience of God. He touched my heart and my whole being in ways I could not understand as a young man. With this experience I could give Him a genuine response to his call. I wanted to be a priest so that I could. reciprocate God’s love to me. As simple as that!
Perhaps, some people had similar experience in life. It could had been early on or later on in their life. Somehow God has a way of revealing himself to us that will change us completely and will make us become open or generous to his call.
John the Baptist’s experience in the Jordan River was a profound moment of God’s revelation. John recognized Jesus as the anointed one, the Christ whose sandals he was not worthy to untie. In that moment of spiritual encounter, all he could say was, “There is the lamb of God.”
I could say that the period of conversion in my senior year of high school was an awaking moment of revelation of who God was for me. He was the one who could bring complete joy in my life; he was the one to whom I could give my life entirely; he was the one that I needed to serve. And priesthood was the way…
Every now and then in my later years of my ministry as a priest, I would go back to this initial experience of God’s movement in my life. It sustains me in my commitment to keep serving God and his people. It reminds me of my genuine motive of service.
May you too always go back to that joyous moment of your life when God touched your heart and revealed the truth of your existence and the purpose of your life!
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Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas attended St. John Seminary in Camarillo, California and earned his Doctor of Ministry in Preaching from Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, Missouri. For twenty years, he has been in the parish ministry of large multi-cultural communities. Since 2002, he has been the pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Los Angeles. Please email Fr. Rodel at [email protected].