WHILE my columns usually focus on the serious subject of IRS audits, let’s end this year with more somber versions of Murphy’s Law:
Law of IRS Audits
If you are a rat pack who keeps lots of tax records, you get an IRS audit letter as soon as you discard your records. Keep your records and you’ll be free of IRS audits.
Law of Doctor Appointments
If you don’t feel well and make an appointment to see a doctor, you’ll feel better by the time you get there. Don’t make an appointment and you stay sick.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because of a flat tire, you will have a flat tire the very next morning.
Law of Cafe
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of Commercial Marketing
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they stop making it.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a changing room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will itch.
And yes, you also have to pee.
Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your reach.
Law of Bath
the probability of your telephone ringing is directly proportional to how deep your body is immersed in your bathtub.
Law of Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Optimism
Smile today tomorrow will be worse!
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Victor Santos Sy graduated Cum Laude from UE with a BBA and from Indiana State University with an MBA. Vic worked with SyCip, Gorres, Velayo (SGV – Andersen Consulting) and Ernst & Young before establishing Sy Accountancy Corporation in Pasadena, California.
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He has 50 years of experience in defending taxpayers audited by the IRS, FTB, EDD, BOE and other governmental agencies. He is publishing a book on his expertise – “HOW TO AVOID OR SURVIVE IRS AUDITS.” Our readers may inquire about the book or email tax questions at [email protected].