YOU and I, and the 8 billion people around the world, are social animals. Our two-legged and four-legged friends are also “social” creatures. Like us humans, these animals also value, long for, and enjoy companionship. The loners among them usually do not survive long. Most obviously, social life, a sense of belonging, a comfortable feeling of security in numbers, a natural mental sense of community, are essential to health, mental and otherwise.
That social nature starts the day we are born, in the arms of our mother, nurtured in the crib, and developed into a complete positive mental state through interactions with both our parents, siblings, grandparents, and friends. All these enable us to develop lasting relationships and a rewarding mental health, which affects and influences all other lives we touch. Human beings’ capacity to live a stable and happy life and our survival as a species heavily depend on our culture, education, social skills, attitude, and social behavior.
The history of man on earth shows that cavemen started forming small groups, literally for security and for survival against the harsh and unforgiving environment, and vicious attacks from animals preying on them. That dependency on each other is still very evident even today, in this modern, technologically advanced society of ours. Indeed, no man is an island, and a loner is, comparatively, at a much graver risk of ill-health and attrition.
A sense of belonging keeps us, humans, connected with our fellowmen, within our own circle, our community, conferring upon our being the reward of acceptance, a gratifying inner satisfaction that we are “in,” and “one of them,” akin to being a member of a club or a fraternity/sorority or a party. This sense of belonging is fundamental for our emotional and physical well-being, a powerful prescription that effectively enables each of us to cope with the sometimes unfriendly and harsh environment and social order.
Attitude
Our social skills, which are vital to our acceptance as a member of a group or community, are developed or impeded by our attitude, which, like social prowess, also significantly impacts our life and our health. Both are pre-requisites to health, happiness, and inner peace in each of us human beings. A good attitude compliments and boosts our social skills and acceptability to “belong.”
Here are some quotes of wisdom I have come across which are inspiring philosophical parachutes in life for those who, like many of us, sometimes find themselves falling towards the pit of discouragement and despair:
- Anthony J. D’Angelo, in The College Blue Book, said, “Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”
- To quote Oscar Wilde, “If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.”
- Voltaire expressed it beautifully when he stated, “Life is like a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
- An ancient Persian saying puts a great perspective on our daily aches and pains in life – “I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.”
- And as some of us may curse some bad days we encounter and wish they never came, Cavett Robert offers these poignant words: “If you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.”
Indeed, every day is a good day, although others are better, and others not as good. But each day is a gift. Not waking up to another day is a deadly waste, but not appreciating another day as we open our eyes each morning in our journey through life is a tragedy. How each of us greets the day depends greatly on our attitude. Indeed, attitude impacts our health, our life, and our everyday happiness and success. A person with a chip on his shoulder, with a negative attitude or pessimistic view of life, will obviously be miserable most of the time. And the opposite is true, as Annette Goodheart brilliantly points out: “Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life.”
Happiness is basically an attitude. Gaining inner peace is an attitude. We have that God-given power to feel what we want to feel. And we can even psyche ourselves.
In a world where global peace is still a dream, a world beset with an economic crisis, with terrorism, with greed and corruption, with energy, food and water shortage, global warming and its devastating side-effects on typhoons, earthquakes and flooding, good social skills and attitude, in the midst of all these disasters, are the best weapons against helplessness, despair and depression. They, indeed, impact our health and life.
With all these complex problems confronting us, we often find ourselves in the gutter of hopelessness, wherefrom, Oscar Wilde suggests, we can look up at the heavens and “see the stars.” Indeed, a positive attitude, a happy outlook in life, especially these days, can help us tremendously in conquering our fears, insecurities, and dilemmas. Without total surrender, when we sometimes lose or fail, we should remind ourselves to get up and fight even harder. After all, “defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it,” as Joe Clark states. To this, I will add my own: “No one can succeed in life who does not have the courage to fail”; and, “The greatest risk in life is in not taking any risk at all.”
Someone said, “You cannot adjust the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails.” Very true, indeed. Simple words of wisdom that could make our day, if not our life.
But, of course, we should not simply leave everything to God. We must do our share. He promises to help those who help themselves. As I live my life each day, I remind myself of an ancient proverb that says, “To everyone is given the key to heaven; the same key opens the gates to hell.” It’s indeed a matter of personal choice. And that choice inevitably depends on our attitude in life. Some people believe their fate is predestined, and that they can’t do anything about it. Others, inspired by good attitude and a positive social frame of mind, design, create, and charter their own destiny.
Finally, I strongly believe that leaving this world after this life is not a tragedy. Dying without significance, without making a difference, without leaving behind a good legacy, certainly is.
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The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the author do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Asian Journal, its management, editorial board and staff.
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The main objective of this column is to educate and inspire people live a healthier lifestyle to prevent illnesses and disabilities and achieve a happier and more productive life. Any diagnosis, recommendation or treatment in our article are general medical information and not intended to be applicable or appropriate for anyone. This column is not a substitute for your physician, who knows your condition well and who is your best ally when it comes to your health.
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Philip S. Chua, MD, FACS, FPCS, a Cardiac Surgeon Emeritus based in Northwest Indiana and Las Vegas, Nevada, is an international medical lecturer/author, Health Advocate, newspaper columnist, and Chairman of the Filipino United Network-USA, a 501(c)3 humanitarian foundation in the United States. He was a recipient of the Indiana Sagamore of the Wabash Award in 1995. Other Sagamore past awardees include President Harry Truman, President George HW Bush, Muhammad Ali and Astronaut Gus Grissom (Wikipedia). Websites: FUN8888.com, Today.SPSAtoday.com, and philipSchua.com; Email: [email protected].
