Today is already KC’s 20th anniversary in heaven. She passed away at a young age of 16 in a fire that gutted our home caused by faulty christmas lights in that fateful evening of Dec 16. Death came like a thief in the night that snatched the life of my youngest child KC. She was so much like me, brave, strong & fought for her convictions.
For a while, I lost my will to live because the grief & pain were too numbing. But slowly with the love & prayers of family & friends, I learned to live again. “When God closes the door, He opens a window”.
Eventually, I met other mothers like me who lost a child & some even more. We got together, shared our pain & decided to reach out to other orphaned mothers like us. We wanted to turn our mourning into something positive thus we decided to put up the “INA Foundation, Inc.” to share our love & sympathy with other mothers like us who are groping in the dark & trying their best to go from a place of despair to a place of hope.
The INA members included: Ali Sotto’s son + Miko, Bibi Yu- Xavier, Ting Mañalac- EC, Menchie Abalos- Ciara, Irma Santiago- Luigi, Le Lagdameo- Luigi, Leslie Tan Sy- Jell & Jerric, Menchie Abalos- Ciara, Baby Tiaoqui- Carissa, Baba Escudero- Zach, Riz Cloma Santos- Cid, Lorna Kapunan- King, Elsa Kapunan- Jingle, Ditas Tan- Lawrence, Titing Brillantes- Gelo, Yna Yulo- Tyke, Jinky Anciado- Charles, Minnie Castillo- Atio, Sheila Suntay- Renzo, Cynthia del Castillo- Ansky, Lulu de Mesa- Kaye, Cheri Roberto- Bruce , Lyn Pareja- Paolo, Lyn Cruz- Teejay, plus other mothers who all lost a child.
I had been blessed to meet Fr. Bernie Carpio, who was KC’s confessor. He heard KC’s confession a few days before her passing. One thing which I learned from Fr. Bernie is that life on earth is really short. We live on borrowed time so to speak and there is a time to be born and a time to die. It gave me comfort and it continues to give me comfort until now, that KC’s passing is no accident and no death for that matter is. Apparently at the deepest level, the soul somehow knows when its appointed time will come.
The good Lord sent us an Angel of Hope: Dra. Honey Carandang. She helped us manage our grief & guided us on how to turn our sadness into something positive which eventually gave birth to INA Healing Center beside the DSWD compound. With the help of my husband, then Speaker of the House Joe de Venecia, in 2006, we put up the INA Healing Center a place where disadvantaged mothers can avail of free counselling.
Their healing program was designed by Dra. Honey Carandang & Ting Mañalac. It has been brought down to the Barangay level & is now being implemented by the DSWD social workers nationwide. A very painful experience which paved the way to have a healing center where grieving mothers can go to avail of free counselling from psychiatrists, clinical psychologists & social workers.
One other important person who helped me and other INA sisters in our journey towards healing and wholeness is the gifted Bernie Nepomuceno, who has, time and again, given us reassurance that our beloved departed children have been called to fulfill a purpose.
This purpose which bonded us together, all orphaned mothers, who have lost a child is to reach out to other similarly situated mothers and guide them in their own journeys of grief, to lead them and hold their hands, as they transcend from mourning to rejoicing and to show them that there’s indeed light at the end of the tunnel.
Losing a beloved child is such a devastating tragedy and the experience can really put a parent, especially a mother, in a very dark place. But with the love and support of other mothers who have experienced the same tragic event and knowing that you are not alone in your suffering, that there are kindred souls out there, give us the courage and strength to go on living.
Being with the INA sisters is like being with family, where one lost mother can be her complete self. The INA Healing Center has become like a refuge for mothers who have lost a child. It has become an orphaned mother’s soft place to fall, the place where one is reminded that despite of what has happened to your life and the many challenges that will still come, you are loved, you are strong and that someone will always have your back.
As stated in Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Shared sorrow is half a sorrow”. Sharing can help you feel connected with others who are going through a similar experience, and in turn, helps those who are new to the experience of grief to feel understood.
20 years after KC’s passing, I can now truly say that I have moved on from a place of despair to a place of hope and that I have transcended from mourning to rejoicing.
The journey was not easy but God is faithful, when He said in Jeremiah 31:13
“I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.”
God has truly comforted me in all my distress/affliction, so that I together with my INA sisters may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
