ALTHOUGH my father’s death was inevitable and imminent because of hospice care, it still has been a very difficult and depressing time for us, his children. It’s true what many people say: “You’ll never be completely prepared for a death of a loved one.”
For two years, my father had suffered from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). He fought this disease, hoping that he could last longer than the period of time that the doctors said he could live, and he did! Imagine being on hospice care for two years! This was God’s blessing for him and my family. He lasted as long as he could; believing that he still had a further mission to accomplish during the last years of his life.
In those two years of hospice care, his eight children and ten grandchildren always showered him with love and care. We believe that there was no doubt in his mind that his family truly loves him. This was a healing moment for a father who was away for twenty-one years from his young children, who were growing up in the Philippines, while serving in the U.S. Navy.
Even after my mother died fifteen and a half years ago, my father immediately became the center of our family life. His children and grandchildren would visit him in our family home in Baldwin Park, California and would gradually develop a loving and respectful relationship with him. Each of his children’s wounds of separation, anger, confusion, misunderstanding and lack of intimacy increasingly healed. God, indeed, had a plan, although it was painful: he took our mother away from us so that we could establish a closer bond our father.
At least, for me, this was God’s epiphany to my family. As we always say, God has a reason for everything and we must believe in him.
Fr. Alex Aclan, my dear friend, told me recently regarding the circumstances of my father’s death, “Fr. Rodel, I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that all the events and the circumstances that occurred before your dad’s death was all in God plan.”
It’s true. I had wondered why my father asked me to see him last Sunday that I decided to anoint him again and to give him Holy Communion. I had wondered why he waited until I came from a short Christmas break with three brother-priests before he passed away the following morning and why my fellow priests and I had to stop that night to give him our blessings. I had wondered why I woke up at two o’clock in the morning and felt the urge to go home to be with him until his last breath. It was all in God’s plan, of course, including the broader history of our family life.
Indeed, why should we worry about the rest of our family life? We’ll continue to build strong bonds of relationship and to live our Catholic faith fervently in the midst of uncertainties. We’ll face more challenges, more loss, more fears, and more anxieties, but we’ll keep believing in God, his purpose and will.
Thank you to everyone who poured out kind thoughts, prayers, love, and support to my family. May we all live in peace and harmony! May we continue to have faith in God and in his plan for each one of us! Amen!
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Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas attended St. John Seminary in Camarillo, California and earned his Doctor of Ministry in Preaching from Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, Missouri. For twenty years, he has been in the parish ministry of large multi-cultural communities. Since 2002, he has been the pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Los Angeles. Please email Fr. Rodel at [email protected].
