“BUT though you are master of might, you judge with clemency, and with much lenience you govern us; for power, whenever you will, attends you. And you taught your people, by these deeds, that those who are just must be kind; and you gave your children good ground for hope that you would permit repentance for their sins.” (Wisdom 12:16-19)
Something happens to us as we get into mid-life or senior years: it’s either we become more patient, understanding, generous, and forgiving or we become resentful, bitter, tight, impatient, and unforgiving. I’m sure that we’d choose to become the former, which is, of course, the elegant choice.
We all know the wise saying that if we ever grow old, we have to do it gracefully. I think that this would be the challenge for many of us. For as we go through life, we encounter many challenges, responsibilities, failures, and disappointments. We continue to face our shadows and to battle with our inner demons.
But the notion that we will never struggle with sins and weaknesses of the flesh and spirit as we grow older is false. Our lives are continuous struggles with sin and with our own imperfect and traumatized selves. Ronald Rolheiser, the author of Sacred Fire: A Vision for a Deeper Human and Christian Maturity, puts it this way: “The struggle for maturity, to give our lives away in an even more generous way, is a lifelong endeavor. In this life, we never fully arrive. There is something always to be done, and God respects that.”
Indeed, life is a constant invitation to change, to renew ourselves, to be great instead of just being good. God meets us at different stages of our lives and calls us to stretch our hearts and minds into deeper understanding, deeper compassion, deeper generosity, and deeper maturity.
Perhaps, we should look at this Sunday’s Gospel on the Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds from the vantage point of compassion to one’s self than of God’s compassion to us. What do I mean by this? There are many times when can be so hard on ourselves: we can’t deal with our personal imperfections; we become impatient with our inability to overcome our faults; we constantly blame ourselves.
God, however, seems to treat us differently. He sees our desire to change and our hidden motives, and he is patient with us. He lets the “wheats” of our lives grow with the “weeds”. He is more tolerant and more compassion with us than we are with our own selves.
Realizing this truth about God is liberating! We become more tender with ourselves and with other people. We shed off our perfectionist behaviors and accept the fact that we will never be “done” or we will never arrive at one’s ideal self. It is only God who will make each of us perfect!
As we muse about our lives this summer, let’s not only take time to relax and to pamper ourselves with rest and vacation days but also to do the exercise of being kinder to ourselves!
Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas attended St. Johns Seminary in Camarillo, Calif. and earned his Doctor of Ministry in Preaching from Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, Missouri. For 20 years, he has been in the parish ministry of large multi-cultural communities. From 2002 to 2014, he has been the pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Los Angeles. He will begin teaching at St. John’s Seminary this July. Please email Fr. Rodel at [email protected].
