FR. RONALD Rolheiser, O.M.I. contends that there is an important distinction between “amazement” and “wonder and awe.” He says that wonder and awe stop the flow of energy passing through us; amazement facilitates it. Wonder and awe “literally paralyze us so that we become reflective by conscription. Amazement does the opposite. It turns us into mindless cheerleaders, irrespective of what is right or wrong or what we actually value.”
Fr. Rolheiser refers to a comment of a famous comedian, George Carlin, in explaining the difference. George Carlin once made a remark on why he does not trust religious neophytes who claim to be “born again”: They talk too much, pure and simple! When I was born, I was so stunned that I couldn’t speak for two years! If someone has a religious experience and shuts up for a couple of years, I will take him seriously!”
Perhaps, reflecting on this difference between “amazement” and “wonder and awe” is how we should approach the Gospel this Sunday. When Jesus miraculously multiplied five loaves and two fishes to feed about “five thousand men, not counting women and children,” the crowd were completely “amazed.” But they were not necessarily “awed” at witnessing this miracle. If they were, they would have looked at its profound meaning beyond physical satisfaction. As a matter of fact, the parallel story in the Gospel of John (6:26-27) speaks of Jesus as admonishing the crowd: “Amen, amen, I say to you, you are looking for me not because you saw signs but because you ate the loaves and were filled. Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life.”
Spiritual conversion or maturity is more than being amazed by what God has done for us; it’s about living life with wonder and awe that calls for constant and deeper pondering of one’s relationship with God and others. At times, this invites us to a more reflective and disciplined prayer life. This may not always be easy as it urges us to be more humble and appreciative of God’s will in our lives. It asks us die to our arrogance, grandiosity, self-importance, and pride.
Indeed, “wonder and awe” is an exercise of self-restraint. Instead of talking, judging, and complaining, we remain quiet or wise and kind in our use of words. Instead of being sad with one’s fate, we become appreciative of God’s actions in our lives.
I’ve been pondering on this profound insight of Fr. Rolheiser as I prepare myself spiritually for my next assignment as faculty member of St. John’s Seminary. I realize that it is important for me now to spend a period of wonder and awe: a time to restrain myself from too much activities, to spend quality times of prayer and silence, to reflect on my past ministry and attitudes, and to assess my life in all aspects. This is the time for me to put on a new garment of spirituality that is marked with humility, gratitude, graciousness, and, most of all, prayer.
Let’s not only be amazed by God’s blessings, but also become engaged in a more mature exercise of wonder and awe. Amen!
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Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas attended St. Johns Seminary in Camarillo, Calif. and earned his Doctor of Ministry in Preaching from Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, Missouri. For 20 years, he has been in the parish ministry of large multi-cultural communities. From 2002 to 2014, he has been the pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Los Angeles. He will begin teaching at St. John’s Seminary this July. Please email Fr. Rodel at [email protected].