”Why are you troubled? And why do questions arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you can see I have.” –John 24:38-39
IT’S truly perplexing that God would make his presence known and felt to us in times of troubles, fears, and anxieties. During these moments, he tells us to “touch” him and “see” him, to look at his “hands and his feet.” Allegorically this means that he asks us to allow him to enter our minds and touch our hearts so his Spirit may reside there. And in these moments, he invites us to speak to him, to express to him all our thoughts and preoccupations.
This experience might strike us, but it’s real. In all ages, from the time of Jacob who wrestled with God to the time of Moses who bore the burden of Israelites’ pain and infidelities, God made himself known during difficult and trying times. From the periods of the prophets and the judges to the time of Mary and Joseph, God entered people’s struggles in many fascinating ways. It was not easy for them to understand God’s ways—they struggled with them. But in those troubled moments, God spoke to them powerfully.
Paul, formerly Saul, fell from a horse on his way to Damascus to persecute Christians. And then the vision that dramatically changed his life and ignited a fire of missionary zeal for the whole world happened—he encountered the Risen Lord who spoke to him with the famous words, “Paul, Paul, why do you persecute me?”
Many saints like Francis of Assisi, Ignatius of Loyola, Teresa of Lisieux, and Teresa of Calcutta spent sleepless nights pondering on and discerning God’s will and plan in their lives and the people they served. Those moments for them were not a clear as we would think, but they are profound moments of God’s revelation.
So yes, why do we anguish when troubles and difficulties come our way? Would we instead take them as opportunities to face squarely the predicaments that befall on us and allow God to speak to us about them? Would we permit him to be with us honestly like a friend or a father and share with him out anxieties, doubts, and fears? Would those moments turn into intimate periods of union with God?
In the Gospel this Sunday, Jesus sat and ate with the frightened disciples. And it in those times the disciples experienced the power of Resurrection. Their eyes and hearts opened as Jesus spoke to them about the Scriptures and broke bread with them.
Let the words of Psalms 4 this Sunday come from our lips in disconcerting times:
Lord, let your face shine upon us.
When I call, answer me, O my just God,
you who relieve me when I am in distress;
have pity on me, and hear my prayer!
Oh Lord, let the light of your countenance shine upon us!
You put gladness into my heart.
As soon as I like down, I fall peacefully asleep,
For you alone, O Lord,
bring security to my dwelling.
* * *
From a Filipino immigrant family, Reverend Rodel G. Balagtas was ordained to the priesthood from St. John’s Seminary in 1991. He served as Associate Pastor at St. Augustine, Culver City (1991-1993); St. Martha, Valinda (1993-1999); and St. Joseph the Worker, Canoga Park (1991-2001). In 2001, he served as Administrator Pro Tem of St. John Neumann in Santa Maria, CA, until his appointment as pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary, Los Angeles, in 2002, which lasted 12 years. His term as Associate Director of Pastoral Field Education at St. John’s Seminary began in July 2014.
