Once upon a time series
BEATRICE was good with numbers and Jim was more of an artist. He played in a band and made a good living with short-term gigs. She made a good living as an accountant and was content with a pretty predictable work schedule.
Bea, as she was called fondly, was financially savvy and fiercely loyal to the bone to those around her immediate orbit. She bought only branded, top of the line items she could meticulously care for, keep and use for a long time. Bea thought that high quality items, even if expensive than most, pay for themselves, over the course of long-term use. She meant to pass them on still in tip-top shape to her nieces and favorite people. Bea was careful with her beautiful stuff as she was with hers and Jim’s life.
They were good together in high school and they got married after college. They spoke the same language of the heart. Life was normal for about a decade. For some reason, they had no children but they accepted it and got along well, neither one seeking blame for their childless marriage.
One day, the doctor told Jim who was thirty at the time, after running a series of tests that his kidneys were failing and unless he had a kidney transplant from a matching donor, he would be undergoing dialysis three times a week for the rest of his life.
As fate would have it, there was a donor for Jim, a young man who lost his life in a car accident and whose kidneys matched Jim’s. It was an organ match made in heaven and the timing couldn’t have been more accurate. Yet the couple knew that life would never be the same again. They would have to take real care of how they were to live their lives, from the food they eat to the amount of stress they can manage. Jim and Bea rose to the challenge. They became two peas in a pod.
The doctor sat down Beatrice and told her outright what was in store for her as Jim’s wife and default primary caregiver. “If you can’t handle this challenge, you need a divorce,” the doctor told her.
He was forthright about the consequences of the surgery: a total change of lifestyle when it came to food, hygiene, personal and private life and even mobility. Bea would have to take the cudgels and fight for both their survival. She had no choice. She would essentially be the dominant life force in the marriage when it came to making a living and managing finances and even getting from place to place. It would be a total reversal of roles.
Bea thought about it and prayed earnestly about how she can handle it all. Peace came to her as she offered her situation to God. “God, please give me the strength and fortitude,” she prayed.
Bea and Jim did what they had to do to live quietly following their doctor’s admonitions on what clean, careful living would be for someone with a transplanted organ.
It isn’t easy — not by a very long shot. The daily grind of following the do’s and don’t’s can strain one’s soul and marriage, both for the afflicted and the caregiver. They would have to fend off infection at all costs. There will be friction and fatigue but if there is an ounce of love between them, it oils out the tension and the strain. They can beat the odds together. They are likely to have a very good run for many years, much longer than what the doctor predicted.
And they have indeed. It has been more than 30 years since Bea accepted her lot and Jim, for his part, followed the doctor’s orders strictly and lived to tell the tale of how love truly conquers all. The same doctor is in awe of the sterling record of survival that Jim and Bea hold to this day.
Popular myth ascribes heroism to those who fought in wars or those who have done dramatic things heralded in the media, Hollywood and the internet. The truth is, heroism and the generosity of the human spirit come in many shapes and forms, often in untold ways. This is one of them. There are those among us who quietly and victoriously fight their personal, private wars daily with joy and grace with none of the empty hype and fanfare. We meet them. We live with them. Their stories of love and endurance inspire us and teach us to keep going no matter how rough things may be.
So next time we meet a stranger, BE NICE. We have no idea of what he or she may be going through. When people ask for prayers, pray for them in spades. God blesses both the ones you pray for and YOU as the supplicant as well. Prayer, as a force, is both geometric and nuclear in its effects, like ripples in a giant cosmic pond. God answers all in His own good time and in his unfathomable ways.
More than likely in many human lives, there is an untold wonderful story of love, courage, endurance and ultimately, victory, that is begging to be told for all the world to know.
A story can inspire. This one does.
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Nota Bene: Monette Adeva Maglaya is SVP of Asian Journal Publications, Inc. To send comments, e-mail [email protected]
