Being from Tacloban, I’m understandably excited about the forthcoming visit of Pope Francis to my hometown in January 2015. That’s the good news. The bad news is that, according to Archbishop John Du of Palo, Leyte (the seat of the diocese to which Tacloban belongs), the Holy Father prefers not to have VIPs taking center stage during his visit.
Not being a VIP, it’s not bad news for me. But it certainly could be for the politicians, the cream of civil society and the captains of business and industry. Can you imagine the Rock Star Pope Francis visiting the Philippines and these VIPs not being able to pose for photographs with him and to enjoy his special blessings?
Of course, being the titular head of the Vatican, a sovereign state by itself, the Pope will have to go through the necessary ceremonials with Noynoy Aquino as president of the Philippines. But, outside of that, according to Archbishop Du, the Holy Father has specifically said that he wants to be with the poor and those afflicted by super typhoon Yolanda, who, after all, are the main reason for his trip to Tacloban.
The Pope has also specifically turned down the idea of a lavish reception and hobnobbing with VIPs. “He will be sitting side by side with poor people. Simple food will be served and there will be no VIPs,” the Archbishop said in a media interview.
For the meal with the Pope, the plan is to draw up a list 30, all poor and all victims of Yolanda, particularly those who suffered grievously, lost their loved ones and are in dire need of material and spiritual support.
That automatically eliminates all the members of Congress and top officials of the government. That’s just too bad because those who splurged on the PDAF and DAP could use a special papal absolution to wipe away their sins. Aside from the absolution, a photo-op with the Pope could be very helpful in an election campaign, much more than the endorsement of the CBCP.
One can also imagine the disappointment of those in the traditional “A-list,” the prominent public officials, star entertainers, high society darlings and business tycoons who are used to being invited to important receptions in Malacañang, such as the recent one for Barack Obama. There goes their chance to take selfies with Pope Francis himself.
Of course, going by the age-old Filipino tradition of palakasan, one can assume that certain families will have special access to His Holiness. Families like the Romualdezes and the Petillas, the political overlords of Tacloban and Leyte province.
The mayor of Tacloban is a Romualdez, Alfred, son of Bejo, younger brother of the most prominent Romualdez of all, Imelda. Another Romualdez, Ferdinand Martin, is congressman of the first district of Leyte. He is the son of Imelda’s other sibling, the late Kokoy.
Imelda, who continues to have considerable influence in Leyte, will predictably want to play a stellar role in the papal visit. The Pope’s directive that he prefers to be surrounded only by poor people will not be a deterrent for her. For one thing, she continues to insist that, ever since People Power, she and her family have been driven to poverty.
She said as much in an interview several years ago with US TV anchors, Sam Donaldson and Diane Sawyer. Imelda declared that she was already impoverished, which caused Donaldson and Sawyer to raise their collective eyebrows. You see, the interview was being conducted in plush quarters that hardly qualified as poor.
As for the Petillas, Remedios “Matin” Petilla, is mayor of Palo and her sons, Leopoldo Dominico and Jericho, are governor of Leyte and Secretary of Energy, respectively.
In sum, whether the organizers of the papal visit like it or not, they will have to deal with the Romualdezes and the Petillas, from the arrangements for the welcome at the Tacloban airport and in Palo, the details of security and crowd control, the logistical support, even the Pope’s official vehicle, not to mention making sure that there are no brownouts during the visit. The two families will thus have first crack at kissing the papal ring. And if their videographers and photographers are on the ball, they could manage some interesting photo-ops with His Holiness.
But that may be as far as they’ll get by way of rubbing elbows with the Pope. There may be no place for them at the table when the Pope sits down to dine with the poor. They could be relegated to an adjoining room, there to cool their heels while His Holiness exchanges sad tales with the 30 fortunate unfortunates and bestows his papal blessings on them.
This is where the VIPs could use a bit of creativity to get close to the Pope and steal some priceless photo ops. The most obvious tactic is The Switch. This means, allowing Archbishop Du to fill up the guest list for the papal meal with genuinely poor people. But, just before the Pope makes his entrance, the bona fide poor will be bumped off by VIPs in their most impoverished-looking outfits.
It’s just a variation on the usual tactic of replacing genuine ballots with fake ballots during elections.
For Mar Roxas, there could be a unique opportunity to get up close and personal with the Pope. Even if Roxas might be unwelcome in Tacloban for mismanaging the Yolanda relief and rescue efforts, he could still create an important role for himself as DILG secretary and big boss of the PNP.
Roxas could designate himself as personal chauffeur of the Pope. He has the necessary experience, having acted as Boy Pick-Up for VIPs like Bong Revilla and as escort for Janet Lim Napoles. Alternatively, he could be close-in security for the Pope (assuming Ping Lacson is not interested in that).
Another possibility is for Roxas to play traffic cop, in case the papal entourage encounters heavy traffic on the way to Palo. Roxas has become quite popular in social media, showing off his prowess in untangling the vehicular chaos at Commonwealth Avenue.
And what about Imelda Romualdez-Marcos? For starters, expect her to come in her poorest-looking terno to fit in with the crowd of poor people. She could also insist on dictating the menu for the papal meal, featuring the favorite viand of Leyte’s pobre. Variations of salted and fermented fish like lao-lao and budo, but in gourmet form, of course, just like the gourmet tuyo sold at supermarkets in Manila.
Instead of rice, she could suggest serving camote and ground corn (in Leyte, once people start eating camote or corn instead of rice, that means they are really experiencing hard times). For dessert, binagol could be served. And for the mass which the Pope may be expected to celebrate, the Waray-Waray’s favorite drink, tuba (specifically bahalina) could be used instead of wine.
I have one suggestion for the cream of civil society and the tycoons of business and industry. If they really want to get in on the papal visit, they could volunteer as waiters and bus boys/girls during the meal. They might even want to raise funds for the Pope, the way celebrities do in the US, when they act as waiters at high-profile fundraisers.
And speaking of fund raising, Butch Abad (he of the creative financial schemes) may also have an opportunity to ingratiate himself with the Pope. He could offer the Vatican a few billions in DAP (Donations & Alms for the Poor). The money could come from the unaccounted portion of the original DAP (Disbursement Acceleration Program).
Finally, there are two key roles that would be perfect for many of our senators and congressmen and some of PNoy’s cabinet secretaries. The organizers could arrange a reenactment of the crucifixion, with the Pope as Christ.
For this, His Holiness will have to be flanked by two thieves.
***
