“PRINCESS KATE is pregnant, and why do we care?,” TIME Magazine asked, following the brouhaha over the news that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their firstborn child. This baby will be heir to the throne — third in line, after his or her father, Prince William.
The fascination over Kate’s pregnancy goes beyond the United Kingdom, capturing the fancy of people from all over the world. As TIME Magazine reported: “The hashtag #royalbaby took over Twitter, internet searches for ‘Kate Middleton pregnant’ went up by 18,305 percent and Kate and William’s official website crashed.”
“Congratulations flooded in from all corners, while newspapers took to speculating about everything from the baby’s name to Kate’s maternity wardrobe. It’s a fetus frenzy that is unlikely to abate for the next six months…”TIME Magazine added.
Such fascination about pregnancies is, after all, universal. We ourselves feel excited to hear about baby news among our family and friends and we can’t resist the temptation of sharing the joy among our own circle of trust.
Social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter even makes the announcement easier and faster — complete with the baby’s first picture ever in 4D ultrasound images!
This shared excitement about infanticipating is perhaps a testament not only to man’s instinct to perpetuate the specie, but also his inner desire to pass on the family legacy, history, traditions from generation to generation.
It makes us remember our own experiences as mothers and fathers– the faithful anticipation, morning sickness, cravings, excitement over the gender of the baby, baby showers, labor pains, the joy of hearing our baby’s first cry, the fulfillment of holding our baby in our arms for the very first time.
A baby in the way also becomes the topic of conversations among family and friends: how we neurotically take care of our babies, the “pamahiin” (myths), beliefs and practices followed and imposed upon us by older generations in the Philippines– some of which we secretly perpetuate ourselves, rationalizing that “wala namang mawawala kung sumunod!”
We also share values with friends and families and how we plan to raise our kids with these values in mind. We laugh about our own experiences, growing up in the Philippines. We compare our own experiences as children with the kids of America today.
But not all mothers feel always ecstatic after giving birth. Many of us Fil-Ams may have read about post-partum depression, but it is in living here in America that we realize how painfully real it can truly be to many people. This is especially true among some of our kababayans living here in America and elsewhere around the world. Many of them feel the “blues.”
According to Mayo Clinic, “Many new moms experience the ‘baby blues’ after childbirth, which commonly include mood swings and crying spells that fade quickly. But some new moms experience a more severe, long-lasting form of depression known as postpartum depression.”
Baby blues symptoms
Signs and symptoms of the baby blues (which last only a few days to a week or two) may include: mood swings, anxiety,sadness irritability, crying, decreased concentration and trouble sleeping.
Postpartum depression may appear to be the baby blues at first — but the signs and symptoms are more intense and longer lasting, eventually interfering with your ability to care for your baby and handle other daily tasks. Postpartum depression symptoms may include:
– Loss of appetite
– Insomnia
– Intense irritability and anger
– Overwhelming fatigue
– Loss of interest in sex
– Lack of joy in life
– Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy
– Severe mood swings
– Difficulty bonding with your baby
– Withdrawal from family and friends
– Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
If left untreated, postpartum depression may last for many months or longer.
Doctors say postpartum depression “isn’t a character flaw or a weakness.” Sometimes, it’s simply a complication of giving birth, and prompt treatment helps the new mommies get over it and enjoy their babies.
Many of our moms or lolas in the Philippines probably never heard about postpartum blues. But this kind of depression is indeed real, even among kababayans who live, give birth, and raise kids away from the Motherland.
I think the big reason behind this is the fact that there is not as much support system readily available to us when we live abroad. In the Philippines, we have our parents, siblings, titos and titas, and friends (not to mention theyayas and drivers for those who can afford to hire their services).
They are there to be around us, listen to us, help us transition to having added responsibilities, run errands and do household chores as we recover medically from childbirth, and attend to our babies.
They also allow us some “me time,” or “couple time” between husband and wife — a much needed breather in our new reality.
This support system is almost a “given’ in the Philippines, but a luxury (if not a dream) for us who live in America or elsewhere around the world. We just cannot afford to fly in our family to help us. Nannies and daycare facilities charge a lot per hour.
Husbands go through the blues, too. They have to juggle work with taking care of their wife and new baby, plus other kids they may already have. Add that to the need to earn more money, in order to support the new addition to the family.
These new responsibilities may be overwhelming for both wife and husband, and not having the support system many just take for granted in the Philippines cause many Fil-Ams go through tough times as individuals and as a couple.
Not all of them are as privileged as Princess Kate and Prince William.
And so the next time you hear about the royal infanticipation, think about your family and friends living abroad who are pregnant, and those who have just given birth. Let them know they are not alone.
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Gel Santos Relos is the anchor of TFC’s “Balitang America.” Views and opinions expressed by the author in this column are are solely those of the author and not of Asian Journal and ABS-CBN-TFC. For comments, go to www.TheFil-AmPerspective.com, https://www.facebook.com/Gel.Santos.Relos
