WHEN Alan Peter Cayetano spins a tale of a threat to his life and Antonio Trillanes begins to predict his incarceration or liquidation if Jojo Binay ever becomes president, you know that they have begun to scrape the bottom of the barrel.
“Hey Alan,” you can almost hear Trillanes say, “I’ve got a great new line of attack that will surely scare away any remaining supporters of Binay.”
“Yeah, what is it this time? Your exposés are getting less and less interesting to the public.”
“You can claim receiving a death threat from the goons of you-know-who and I will predict being thrown in jail or liquidated if Binay is elected. Ergo – People must not vote for Binay.”
“Well, maybe it’s worth a try,” Cayetano nods, tentatively. “Although one of my communications advisers – actually, the brightest of them – suggests that instead of trying to destroy Binay, I – I mean, we – should start building up my – I mean, our – presidential credentials.”
“No, no, no,” insists Trillanes. “In the military, the best strategy is to be on the offensive.”
“The trouble is, you – I mean, we – are beginning to look offensive in the eyes of the masses. Just look at the latest surveys.”
And Cayetano adds: “While you and I have been attacking Binay and getting flak from his supporters, we haven’t done anything to build ourselves up as better alternatives to him.”
Trillanes, not used to this kind of analytical thinking, strains to get the point.
Cayetano goes on: “Meanwhile, Mar Roxas has been keeping a low profile but he has been busy distributing goodies – you know what I mean – to political leaders in the provinces. On the pretext of applying the new policy of Bottom-Up Budgeting, he has actually been Buying Up Ballots. In other words, you add two and two and you have an idea of what Drilon, Abad and Roxas have been doing.”
“Two and two equals four,” says Trillanes. “What does that mean?”
Cayetano heaves a patient sigh. “What it means is, Drilon, Abad and Roxas have been using you and me as cannon fodder.”
“Okay, but what does THAT mean?” says Trillanes, scratching his head.
Cayetano pulls out the results of the March and September nationwide surveys of Pulse Asia and one conducted by a new research company, Novo Trends.
“Look at these figures,” says Cayetano. “In the March 2014 Pulse Asia survey on presidential preference, I had a rating of 4 percent nationwide and 6 percent in Metro Manila. But in the September survey, my rating dived to 1 percent nationwide and 4 percent in Metro Manila. And to think I spent millions on TV spots about Taguig and me.”
“Oo nga ano?” nods Trillanes, still trying to understand what this has to do with two plus two equals four.
“Guess what you and I and Koko Pimentel were doing at the time of the September survey,” Cayetano goes on.
Trillanes brightens up. “We were exposing Binay. We had Mercado, Bondal and others testifying that Binay was not only overpricing Makati projects, he was getting his kickbacks delivered in sports bags. And we exposed Hacienda Binay and also exposed Antonio Tiu as Binay’s dummy.”
Trillanes beams, feeling very good about what he had done. “Binay’s ratings dropped because of our exposes…from 40 percent to 31 percent.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” says Cayetano, getting a little edgy. “But Binay is still way ahead of us and we – I mean, I – dropped to a statistically insignificant 1 percent nationwide. How can I be elected president with 1 percent?”
Trillanes goes over the survey figures and lightens up: “But look – Mar Roxas’ ratings went up, more than double, from 6 percent to 13 percent nationwide. And in the Visayas, it jumped 10 percent, from 12 percent to 22 percent.”
Trillanes obviously feels very good about this. “That means, our demolition campaign is working.”
“Yes, but not for me – I mean, us,” snaps Cayetano. “Worse yet, Binay is still way ahead of everyone else in spite of his drop in ratings. It’s only Roxas who has improved.”
Trillanes begins to see the point. “You’re saying Roxas’ chances are improving but – but not yours?” He says it carefully so as not to upset Cayetano.
“Obvious ba?” Cayetano shoots back.
At this point, Cayetano mutters something about giving up the idea of running for president and concentrating on becoming a father.
Trillanes, while sympathizing with Cayetano, lights up with a knowing smile on his face. “But wait – if you can’t become president, one of us still has a chance. Me.”
Cayetano raises his eyebrows.
“Well,” says Trillanes, “I was not included in the March and September surveys as a presidentiable, therefore, I still have a chance.”
At this, Cayetano pulls out the Novo Trend survey and waves it at Trillanes. “Oh, yeah? Well, take a look at this.”
Trillanes checks out the Novo Trend poll and spots his name in the list of possible presidential candidates. “That’s me, that’s me,” he says, excitedly.
Trillanes notes that the study focused only on Metro Manila, but with a bigger respondent base of 1,600 compared to Pulse Asia’s nationwide base of 1,300. Suddenly, his face falls.
“It says I only rated 1.6 percent. But how could that happen? Everyone in FaceBook thinks I’m a hero.”
“That’s not all,” says Cayetano. “My Metro Manila rating in the Novo Trend survey is only 3.4 percent compared to 4 percent in the Pulse study. And Metro Manilans know all about our attacks against Binay. But he’s still way ahead!!!””
Trillanes heaves a deep sigh. “Well, at least in the Novo Trend study, you and Roxas are about even. He only rated 3.5 percent compared to your 3.4 percent.”
“You know what,” Cayetano perks up. “Come to think of it, maybe your idea about the threat to my life and your possible liquidation might work.”
“Yeah,”says Trillanes. “ABB – Anybody But Binay.”
“By the way,” says Cayetano, “did you read that story in the papers about Grace Poe-Chiz Escudero and ABM – Anybody But Mar?”
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