IT WAS truly heartbreaking to hear the news about the death of a 12-year old Filipina in Queens, New York, who took her own life because she could not take the cruel messages in school and online anymore.
Authorities have confirmed that Gabrielle Molina, who was found hanging in her bedroom last week in Queens Village, did commit suicide.
As Balitang America’s New York Correspondent Don Tagala reported: On Wednesday morning, 7th grader Gabrielle Molina didn’t attend school. She locked herself up in her room and her parents thought she was just not feeling well.
In the afternoon, her older sister forced her bedroom door open and found her dead.
She left a note which revealed details about how she was being bullied in school.
The suicide note intimated how she was tormented in school and online. She was reportedly called a slut by schoolmates. She was also told she looked like she had Down syndrome.
A recent fistfight with another girl was reportedly caught on video and was posted on You Tube.
Local news in Queens, New York also reported that Gabrielle had a history of cutting herself. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend.
Don Tagala reported on Balitang America that students at Jean Nuzzi Intermediate School 109 in Queens, who allegedly sent cruel messages to 7th-grader Gabrielle, are now under police investigation.
Kababayans in the Filipino community in New York are still shocked about the news, cognizant of the fact that bullying is also being experienced by many other young Fil-Ams.
“I feel very hurt because I know there’s a lot of suicides in America,” Stephanie Cuaycong told Don Tagala on Balitang America.
Next-door Filipino neighbor Victor Pena said the government should take action against school bullying.
“Dapat yang nang-bully eh bigyan ng leksiyon,” (Those who bullied her should be taught a lesson),” he said.
Pena told Balitang America that this is not the first time an incident like this happened in his neighborhood.
A young Fil-Am took his own life in Queens Village about three years ago, while his own 16-year-old nephew was also tormented in school.
“(My nephew) no longer wanted to attend school. He wanted to return to the Philippines because at least back home he felt he won’t be bullied as much,” he said.
Pena would later advise the Molinas to do the same.
“When they found out that Gabrielle was being tormented in school they should have just sent her home to the Philippines to study there,” Pena said on Balitang America.
Statistics show that over 77 percent of students admit to being victims of some form of bullying. Well over half of them will not tell their parents when bullying occurs. This makes it even more challenging for parents who want to help their kids.
I am sure many of you would, every now and then, try to engage your kids in conversation, if not a heart-to-heart talk, especially when you see our kids looking upset or lonely.
Most of the time, what we hear is: “I do not want to talk about it.”
This clamming up is very characteristic of teenagers, who are trying to assert their own identity apart from their parents. During the turbulent adolescent years, we also notice more mood swings in our teenage kids, especially our daughters — thanks to the effect of surging hormones.
Despite these factors, psychologists tell parents that they should not give up on trying to “connect” with their kids, even if their teenagers are not responsive or are disinterested in connecting with their parents.
As parents, we need to make them feel that we are here for them – that our communication lines are open so they can feel safe to open up, whenever they need someone to talk to.
I personally make it a point to follow my kids on Facebook and in other social networks they may be engaged in, if only to have a glimpse of their state of being through their status updates and their communication with their “friends.”
However, in my interview with mental health first aid educator Joyce Diloy on Balitang America, she warned against “snooping” and being judgmental, as these do not help us win the trust of teenagers.
She also said that while angst and mood swings may be common among teenagers, it is important for parents to watch out for any signs of serious depression:
Sadness or hopelessness
Irritability, anger, or hostility
Tearfulness or frequent crying
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in activities, especially in those they used to be passionate about
Changes in eating and sleeping habits
Restlessness and agitation
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
Fatigue or lack of energy
Difficulty concentrating
Thoughts of death or suicide
Diloy said when we notice any of these symptoms in our teens, we have to remember five important words to say: “I AM CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.”
(To be continued next week)
* * *
Gel Santos Relos is the anchor of TFC’s “Balitang America.” Views and opinions expressed by the author in this column are are solely those of the author and not of Asian Journal and ABS-CBN-TFC. For comments, go to www.TheFil-AmPerspective.com, https://www.facebook.com/Gel.Santos.Relos
