It’s good to be single. But to be happy being single is another story.
Over the holidays, I did get kind of lonely being alone, without a significant other to spend it with. I honestly felt that I could be happier when I am with someone.
One of my resolutions for this year was to think and be positive all the time. This early, I am already challenged to act on, and follow this item on my resolution list. As I was contemplating on how I can battle this dreaded lonely blues descending on me, I thought of writing why it’s great to be single. Yes! The thought of it already made me excited to research and list down all the social commitments and experiments I’ve been doing.
I vowed to stay true to myself as I write the greatness of being single. I started enumerating why I am happy even if I am single, and to just ferret out the truth why being single is such a dilemma to most of us.
I remember when I was driving my ex-sister-in-law home and asked her, “Hey, you’re already in your late twenties and you’ve never had a boyfriend. Don’t you think you’re missing out on something?”
“I don’t want any complications,” she replied. As simple as that.
I didn’t barrage her with anymore questions because I totally understood what she meant. She was enjoying life being single because she is happy by herself. I then realized that she’s got her whole family’s love, and she’s busy doing the things she enjoys like working, hanging out with her nephews and friends, and just surfing the internet and toying with her laptop.
Once again I mused to myself, “If she can be happy, why can’t I be?”
Maybe all I need to do is to count the many blessings I have been showered, be thankful and enjoy life as it comes. Being human, I try to focus on the things that are broken rather than the ones that are running well. I have a great family who loves and supports me, crazy friends who can make me laugh and I can cry with, and I’d like to think that my career is starting to blossom. What more can I ask for?
So I excitedly got in touch with my friends and made a social appointment with each of them. I filled my calendar with fun days, work days and the “just me” days. I am already loving the “just me” days where I made a date to clean my closet, remove my “sad old me” clothes, checked my makeup kit and excitedly marked a day to go to a beauty bar and learn to put eye makeup. Woohoo! I am really starting to feel better and happier.
I then remembered that I once wrote an article about being heart broken. I hurriedly opened my files and re read it once again. There are times that you need that extra boost and the most effective way is to surround yourself with single people. Spend more “fun days” with them. For every holiday or event, set a date and go out. I had a fabulous time when a good friend of mine invited me to dinner one Saturday in December and met new friends. I had a blast talking and laughing with them. How ironic how you can laugh your heart’s trouble away and make it feel light when you’re with a group who shares the same horrific love experiences as you have.
Here are some secrets I’ve uncovered on my way to a happier life being single and loving it:
Reinvent and reinforce yourself. Get into the habit of thinking of yourself, of what can make you happy, of what can excite you and be a better you. Your job is to improve your own attitude, outlook and your physical self. Never allow other’s criticism get the best of you. When you’re happy and confident about who you are, people are immediately drawn to you.
Focus on your career and your hobbies. There are so many doors that are opening for me and I want to get a hold of every thing coming my way at this time. I feel that when you are successful, you have more zest in life. You feel more energized to get up each day and work. As they say, work is the best therapy. Continue to believe in and do what you’re doing everyday. Be up and active. Never stop. Never give in. Never give up.
Involve yourself with the community. All along I knew I made the right choice to be a NaFFAA (National Federation of Filipino American Association) member. I am now actively doing PR and marketing for NaFFAA. I always look forward to our meetings, to have my my brain streatched and working towards uplifting and unifying Filipinos. It’s great to find ways to impart the wealth of knowledge you have accumulated and pass on. When you engage in something that is socially relevant, you feel dignified. Anyway you have more to contribute than you’ll ever understand.
You can build a terrific life even if you’re single. The key is to build a life full of meaning and satisfaction. To take advantage to get to know yourself, to do the things you love without feeling guilty and to live life as it comes to you. My goal as I write this article is to bring to light, whether you choose to be single or just got your hearts broken that it’s fun and ok to be single. Be a shining example to others of how productive and rich life can be even without a partner. And remember that when you are happy, you become attractive. Who knows? Cheers!
***
Elgin Zulueta is the Business Development Director for the International Academy of Film and Television / Bigfoot Entertainment. She finds simple pleasures in the daily grind and turns them into interesting topics for her column. Email her at [email protected] and follow her on twitter @elginz.
