SOME detractors are saying that, as incoming mayor of Manila, Erap Estrada will be the new boss of City Hell. At any rate, whatever that idiot, Dan Brown, says, I’ll take Manila anytime.
Did I call Brown an idiot? Yes, and I’m entitled to my opinion, just as he is entitled to his, even if I know as little about his books as he knows about Manila. So, we’re even.
The furor over Manila being called “The gates of hell” reminds me of the remarkable taxi driver who took me and a group of Manila advertising men on a tour of New Delhi, on our visit to the city for the 13th Asian Advertising Congress.
The driver, expectedly, showed us the beautiful sights of New Delhi but, unexpectedly, also offered to show us “the real India.” He then brought us to New Delhi’s slums and to where there were wretchedly poor people living in igloo-like hovels beside road construction sites. But it was not out of spite that the driver did this. He spoke with genuine affection about his impoverished countrymen, at the same time admiring them for their ability to survive.
“This is my city,” said the driver-cum-tour guide. And he said so with pride.
Having done a bit of traveling around Asia and some of the Great Cities of the World, as my Nescafé ad campaign described them, I still have to find a place where I can have More Fun than in Manila.
Like the New Delhi taxi driver, I’ll take Manila – or rather, Metro Manila – slums and gated villages, Malacañang and Smokey Mountain, City Hell and Manila Cathedral, historic Intramuros and stinking Pasig, Makati high-rises and city slums, and all.
Some Manilans, especially those aching to abandon the Philippines for foreign shores, may disagree with me. But I happen to have been raised in Manila from my teens, familiar with the worst and the best of the metropolis, and exposed to some of the worst and the best of other Great Cities, particularly those in the United States.
Manila is where we can find the loveliest, nicest, most gracious people in the world. Manila is where lifetime friends live. Manila is where we get invited to some of the most unique restaurants, serving some of the most unique cuisine, accompanied by the most intelligent and exhilarating conversation and exchange of jokes, rumors and gossip, and washed down with bottles and bottles of wine.
Heck. You couldn’t do that in California, unless you want to risk being arrested for DUI.
Some years ago, I joined a business and goodwill trip to Manila organized by the Daly City-Colma Chamber of Commerce. It was the first visit to the city for most of the members of the delegation, and they were horrified (literally screaming) at the way our tour bus squeezed, weaved and bounced through Manila traffic, playing chicken with buses, jeepneys and private vehicles. To their surprise, there were no accidents and no one hurled expletives at each other.
I cheerfully described their experience as part of the fun in visiting Manila. “After this, you’ll be entitled to a t-shirt that reads, ‘I survived Manila traffic.’”
And talking about drivers cursing other drivers. I’m reminded of the cabbie who drove me to JFK airport in New York. He did so while over-speeding and spewing cuss words at every fellow motorist who got in his way (I told him I was trying to catch a flight).
“I love it here in New York,” the cabbie told me. “I just moved back from San Diego, but I’m a native New Yorker. Here in New York, I can scream and cuss all I want. They’re too damn polite in California.”
As you can see, one’s version of heaven or hell depends on one’s personal tastes and preferences.
My wife and I were recently in Manila for a month (the longest we’ve stayed in over 26 years of living in America). It was to visit our eldest son, Ringo (who has chosen to work in Manila rather than in the US) and to make our old house more livable. You see, Manila is where we plan to retire in our old age. To say that we immensely enjoyed ourselves is an understatement.
Our daughter Christina and her husband, Jack (an Anglo) have just returned from a trip to Manila, as well as other Asian cities. From their FaceBook postings, it looks like they also enjoyed themselves.
Does that mean that, by retiring in Manila, we’re planning to go to hell? Well, if living in Manila is hell, Dan Brown must be missing something:
For starters, this kind of hell is where my wife and I will wake up in the morning to piping hot breakfast waiting for us at the table. That’s sinangag, fried egg, tuyo or daing, last night’s adobo, slices of fruits, occasionally some pancit bato.
Did I say breakfast would be waiting for us every morning? Of course, because the kasambahay will be preparing that for us. Will we ever be able to afford that kind of househelp in America? Hell, no.
Manila is where our Social Security pension will allow us to live in relative comfort. I once wrote a feature article entitled, “SM SL.” That stood for “So much for so little,” which was what I got with my money at my favorite SM haunts on Sucat and Bicutan.
Here are excerpts from that article: “For Filipino-Americans who expect to find everything they need in one single trip to the mall, and who are constantly on the lookout for the big sale at Nordstrom, Macy’s, Target, the outlet stores and the specialty boutiques, a visit to one of the many SMs that dot Metropolitan Manila and the big provincial cities is a fulfilling experience.”
There’s more: “Need a bank? There’s Banco de Oro. Tickets to a show? SM has its version of Ticket Master. Airline tickets? Cruise tickets? Go no farther. Planning a trade exhibit? SM Mega Mall and SM North EDSA have the facilities.
“What about dining? Name all the major chains – Jollibee, McDonald’s, Red Ribbon, Goldilocks, Kentucky, Shakey’s, Greenwich – and they have a branch at SM. And then there are the fine dining and eat-all-you-can-but-don’t-waste-anything-or-you-pay-double establishments like Kamayan, Saisaki and Via Mare.
“And then there’s the food court where you can get a combo meal plus a soda or cup of iced tea for just a mite over $2. That money can’t even get you a slice of pizza in California or New York.”
And more: “When in Manila, my wife and my sister-in-law like to buy clothes that flatter their slight frames, with prices that are gentle on their even slighter pocketbooks. Haute couture for petite pitakas. They don’t need to look far. There’s an SM wherever they turn.
“According to them, there’s also a wealth of handicraft items, bangles, beads, scarves, bags, shoes, novelties and aribubots waiting to be discovered. Plus the most complete selection of kakanin and matamis to bring back to America.”
And that’s just talking about SM. There are malls and shopping centers, food courts and dining places, department stores and discount stores all over Manila, and when the sun goes down, tell me what can beat Manila for fun.
And finally, in our old age, when the DMV will no longer renew our driver’s license, Manila is where my wife and I will also be able to afford a personal driver. Obviously, we don’t relish the idea of being stuck at home in America, watching TV the whole day because our children will be too busy at work to take us out.
That, for Dan Brown’s information, would be HELL.
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