How many times?

Most of you breeze through life like you have the manual at the back of your hand.

However, there are some of us who fumble every so often trying to figure out how we can keep our lives in motion and not rot in a “rut”!

Often times, we wonder if being successful isn’t really meant for us. Or maybe we really have the word “loser” engraved on our foreheads or in our hearts. Better yet, we’ve probably branded our lives an “Epic Fail!”

I’ve often fallen flat on my face over the course of my existence. And I will not lie about how painful they’ve been. Yes, I’ve bruised and have been wounded in the process. And now I have the scars of yesteryears to remind me of my failures.

So how many times must we fail, you might wonder. I’ve asked that question so many times. I remember my father telling me that there are more “no” that “yes” in every aspect of life.

Rejection will always be there, he affirmed. He stressed it to me that if a yes was easily achieved, it wouldn’t mean a thing. He went on to tell me that rejection is the gate that keeps mediocre people away from what they want.

I really didn’t understand what he was trying to tell me. I was his first born son and was kinda spoiled so I pretty much got what I wanted. It was only when my parents passed away that I realized and applied what was taught me.

So how many times do we try to make it in life? As much as we would like to. And for as long as we are breathing.

Here are some tips to keep you from throwing in the towel:

Have the desire

Having the desire to achieve what you want conditions your mindset and your heart to the end result. So instead of finding excuses on why you should do it, having a strong desire helps you find solutions on how you can achieve what you want.

A sense of humility 

There is no need to brag about wanting to climb Mount Everest. Having a sense of humility allows you to embrace your humanity. It helps you realize what is real and what is achievable. It also helps you to keep going after your goals over and over. A sense of humility helps you understand that failure is part of the process.

Be vigilant and steadfast 

There are people who will pose as your friends. But in reality, these people the are “dream poppers” of your existence. They will tell you that it’s better to be mediocre than to humiliate yourself trying to be someone better. Keep away from these people.

Don’t try to be someone you’re not 

Who you are is beautiful in itself. God made you in his image and likeness but you are uniquely YOU!  the goal is to try and try and try to improve yourself within the context of who you are. You don’t want to be someone you’re not.

With these tips in mind, learn to appreciate the fact that what you may have now is something envied by those around you. If you must ask yourself how many times you should attempt at something, make sure you know the ultimate benefit you will get out of it. At the end of the day, of it’s worth fighting for, it doesn’t matter how many times you have to try to go after whatever it is your after.


Paco Arespacochaga is a musician/songwriter for the award winning band Introvoys (  He runs his own media company, 2heaven Media (  He is also a husband, a father and a friend. Read more of his thoughts by going to and send him an email at

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