Free will


“I’m free!”

It sounds so simple, yet it’s complicated at the same time. I was in an emotional muck over the last few weeks, answering its deafening banging at the door of my heart.

My head thinks too much, so it’s simpler for me to conform only to what my heart tells me. I have been shedding layers of masks to embrace the “me” that I want to be. I want to totally wear my heart on my sleeve—to say “I love you” to friends and family and “I like you” to people I admire.

Sometimes, it is uncomfortable to let others know what we need or feel.  But it is also comforting to know that we are being true to what is right. Concealing the truth will make matters worse, because we are not honest.

I vow to only use my head, for as long as I don’t hurt or step on anyone my decision will always be the right one. This time I surrender to say the things I want to say at the exact moment I want to and to take more risks with no regrets. It makes me feel more human to accept what is meant to be.

I am waving my white flag; throwing in the towel, realizing I can’t stay on the path of ‘settling’ anymore, in all aspects of my life—personal, career and love. I am awaking my inner bitch—the “good bitch” who will make me focus on my creativity, my uniqueness and on not being afraid to commit mistakes.

I now have gathered every ounce of strength left in me and accepted the reality that there are things that you have no control over. I was inspired to take time to think and reassess my life.

It’s nothing abstruse, but the insights have made me realize that I am indeed, maturing.

Simplify your life

When you obsess about having peace of mind, simplifying your life is the only option. I can now guiltlessly weed out toxic people in my life and let go of those who do not reciprocate the same amount of importance I give to a relationship – whether in romantic and platonic circumstances.

Not everything is about you

I can and will go the distance to brighten a lonely person’s day and will listen relentlessly to a friend rant and rave about life. I will go out of my way to validate people.

Never say never

As the saying goes, it ain’t over till it’s over. Many times you swear not to engage on certain situations, only to find yourself doing it again. It is sometimes best to keep mum and not say anything with finality about things until you are absolutely sure.

Savor experiences, moments, and people

Finally, I realized that life is good when loving and supportive family and friends surround you.

When you’re immediate family is away from you, your friends become your family. Nothing ever beats great conversation over wine and chips, or those choreographed dances you do with your close friends that make you laugh out loud. I have learned that you cannot change other people, only yourself. And when we start accepting people as they are, then we see the change because it starts from us.

Randomly and sporadically, it’s nice to see people loosen up a little bit. I have to remind myself that. It also gets tiring, trying to be too professional or too cool or too hip all the time. My life priorities are sometimes overshadowed by my preoccupations. I fuss and worry about unnecessary things.

I’ve learned to take it easy and just ‘go with the flow’. When we accept and move on, it opens up new beginnings—an inner journey towards a more free you. We can now courageously answer questions we purposely neglected before.

You will be surprised what revelations you’ll discover. We become true to what we feel. We become open to new possibilities.

So today, I am free. I will live my life MY way. I will allow myself to become who I truly am and will not let anyone dictate how I should live.

***

Elgin Zulueta is the Business Development Director for the International Academy of Film and Television / Bigfoot Entertainment.  She finds simple pleasures in the daily grind and turns them into interesting topics for her column. Email her at  Elgin.Zulueta@gmail.com and follow her on twitter @elginz.

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