When debt problems cause marriage problems

When debt problems cause marriage problems

EVERY day, I meet with couples who are deeply in debt. In a lot of cases, I can feel the stress level that they are experiencing while the couple is in my office. Emotions often run high and you can feel the tension in the air. There can be a lot of finger-pointing, resentment, anger, etc. A lot of couples find themselves on the verge of divorce due to financial problems. Some actually separate or divorce as a result.

Debt problems can place a huge stress on any marriage because it affects the whole family, including the children. When parents are unable to provide for their kids the way they want to, they feel like they have failed. What makes things worse sometimes is the fact that couples are not on the same page about their finances and they can’t agree on a lot of the important issues.

For example, I see a lot of cases where the debts accumulated during marriage are all in one spouse’s name and yet it is clear that both husband and wife benefited from the money borrowed. But because all the debts are only in one spouse’s name, the other spouse doesn’t feel the financial burden as much because it is “not my debt”. How can this be?  If your wife or husband accumulated debt during your marriage and the debt provided a benefit for both of you and your family, it is YOUR debt just as much as it is his or hers.

For a marriage to survive a financial crisis, both husband and wife need to be on the same team. That’s what a marriage should be all about- for better or for worse, isn’t it? Start out by sitting down and talking about the problem. It is normal to be frustrated with one another if you feel that your spouse is not doing her or her share but provided that you want to keep your marriage, you need to work together and come up with a mutually-agreeable solution. Sometimes that requires some willingness to compromise as you find ways to survive your debt problems.

Sometimes there is no easy way out and if filing bankruptcy is the only solution, again, this has to be a joint decision after you’ve weighed all your options. If bankruptcy can be avoided, you need to come up with a debt elimination strategy that is workable and realistic; otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for more failure and frustration.

Debt problem3s are one of the main causes of divorce in the United States. But they don’t have to destroy your marriage unless you let them. When you’re in the middle of a financial crisis, sometimes it’s hard to find anything positive about the situation. But like most difficult challenges we face in life, we only grow when we are stretched beyond our comfort zone. So whatever debt problems you may be facing at the moment, try to find the lesson that life is trying to teach you. If you look hard enough, you will often find it.

If you need help figuring out your options to get out of debt, I’d like to help you. Call us for a free consultation at Toll-Free 1-866-477-7772.  We have offices in Glendale, Cerritos and Valencia.

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None of the information herein is intended to give legal advice for any specific situation.  Atty. Ray Bulaon has successfully helped thousands of clients in getting out of debt. For a free attorney evaluation of your situation, please call  Ray Bulaon Law Offices at  TOLL FREE 1 (866) 477-7772.   

 

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